Today I woke up angry at God. It is not often I am amgry with Him, but today, I have had enough.

I am tired of living in this body. Tne one that cannot hear or see. The one that trips over everything, the one that forces me to living in my own little world for the past 45 years and yeah, I'm tired of it. The mental exhaustion it takes just to see and hear in my own house has taken its toll.

I wonder why I am here, what is my purpose? I have a great husband but he gets mad at me when I remind him he said he would do something and he still has not done it after several weeks or months. Unfortunately it is not until I use a tone of voice that he pays attention, gets mad AT ME and then does it.

The house is a constant mess. I clean up one area and within minutes, it is like a tornado hit it. I get mad and give up and the house gets worse. It does not matter bow many times I remind, beg or get mad, things are still left on the floor for me to trip over, dishes are constantly left out, garbage is not thrown away.

My brother rarely treats me with respect. He is my only sibling but when he calls it is to talk to Pete, never to see how I am doing. He does not respond to my emails when I have a legitimate questions. When I ask him questions, he says I want too many details. I don't talk to him for months and he says I ask too much.

So, yeah, I am ticked off at God today. I wll pray for some help, strength and some answers because, Lord, I really need some. My mom, my husnabd and my kids deserve to know that I'm ok. They already know I am a fighter, but someimes evem fighters need a break in life.